Ultra 101: Episode 6
The sixth episode of Ultra 101. The Revenge of Zagi Zagi ate his noodles bitterly while doing something on his computer. “I will not allow this to pass… I will have my vengeance!” Zagi said definitely. He sprang up into a pose, his body so sickly and lanky that he looks his bones were bending the wrong way. “I cannot do this alone, I will create minions to help me… yes!” Zagi said as he took of his wig and started to caress it like it were a cat. “But first I have to order this while it’s still on sale!” Zagi said quickly dashing back to his computer and ordered something. ~''This is the point when the opening song would play, so why don’t you go listen to Spyair’s Rock’n Roll and do something with your life?''~ “Arise Space beasts! ARISE AND SERVE YOU MASTER!” Zagi said throwing his arms into the arm. He was standing infront of a makeshift satanic shelter, with the Megaloman wig as the centerpiece. All the sudden the was a *SPOOF* and there were two dark Ultras standing there. “‘sup.” One of them said, blowing a bubble with gum. Zagi scratched his head. “What is this? You do not appear to be space beasts!” Zagi complained. The other one; with an odd jester like pattern, looked at it’s hands. “Yeah, well, they were, like, busy, soooo, you got us.” Zagi thought for a moment. “Okay fine, I will make you my devious evil minions!” He said excitedly. “Okay, you, the muscular one. I will call you… Mephistopheles!” “Yeah, but that’s way too long.” “Mephistopheles” said. Zagi snorted. “Fine then! You can name yourself!” He retorted angrily. “Okay then, I’ll be… Dark Mephisto.” “Ooooh! If you’re gonna be Dark Mephisto, then I’ll be Dark Faust!” Said the jester like one. Zagi ruffled his head. “NO! You cannot have those names, they are cooler than my own!” He yelled. “Then why don’t you just like, change your name to Dark Zagi.” Faust said. Zagi thought a moment. “You know what, okay, I’ll take that. Wait, are you a boy or a girl?” Zagi asked Faust. Faust’s eyes widened. “Honestly I’m not sure.” It said putting a thumb on it’s chin in thought. “Oh that’s just great.” Zagi said facepalming. “I got a man-woman clown on my team.” Zagi thought for a moment. “Okay, Mephisto, I want you to-” “Yeah, but how ‘bout NO.” Mephisto said. “Wah? B-but why?” Zagi asked confused. “Yeah, I may be a dark ultra. But, I think I’d rather be the anti-hero character. You know, maybe mess with the guys a bit, but become a good guy in the end. It’ll probably result in my death, but those characters are always the coolest. So yeah, I’m gonna go off and do my own thing.” Mephisto said casually. “Later pops!” He said flying through the walls. Zagi ran up to the hole he left behind. “Hey! You get back here, I did not give you that permi-OH never mind, he’s already gone.” Zagi slumped down into his chair. “Now what am I suppose to do?” He asked himself. “Well, you still got me.” Faust said. Zagi looked at it. “Meh!” Zagi said turning his attention elsewhere. Faust got ticked off. “You know what, fine. I’ve had it with your attitude, daddy, I’m gonna go join Mephisto on his anti-hero route!” Faust stormed out, following the path Mephisto left. “D’ah great! Now I’ve lost everyone I’ve summoned. DAH MY LIFE SUCKS!” Zagi said punching his computer. “D’oh my gawsh!” He said quickly running over to make sure it wasn’t damaged. It was. “NOW MY LIFE REALLY DOES SUCK!” At the Computer Store: Just Ultra-IT “So you recommend this one?” Zero asked. He and Mebius were browsing computers. “Yeah, that model really works well. It’s reasonable priced too.” Mebius explained. “It’s settled then.” Zero said. They called over an employee and asked to purchase the laptop. The employee was rather peculiar looking. He lacked any red patterns, he was just black with silver armor. And of course he wore a dorky IT store vest. Just as the employee took them off screen to the counter, Zagi came wandering in. He dashed over to where the laptops where. “Come on, come on! They’ve got to have on left in stock.” Zagi said looking through all of them. Eventually he found an employee, the same one that helped Zero and Mebius. “You!” “What?” “Tell me, where are do you still have any of this model?!” Zagi said holding up the wreckage that use to be his laptop. The employee examined the mess. “This looks like a Model 105.” He said. “Okay, where can I get one!” “Sorry, eh, sir, but we just sold our last one.” The employee said with a nervous smile. “You did what! D’ah great, now I have to do something incredibly STUPID!” Zagi said pulling the employee into a headlock. “NOBODY MOVE!” He shouted through the shop. “Within 2 hours I expect a Model 105 with a Core1000 to be delivered to my apartment, free shipping!” Zagi announced as he started exiting the building, the employee still under his arm. “My address is 05 Enprogek Street, 9421. If anyone follows me, I will kill myself, and then the hostage!” All the customers and employees looked at each other and shrugged. Later Zagi was waiting impatiently in his apartment with the IT employee just casually sitting on a chair. “I’m sort of thirsty.” He said. Zagi got up, went to the fridge, took out a coke, and passed it to him. “Thanks,” The employee said as he took it. He took a nice gulp. “That’s the stuff. You know, you are the worse kidnapper eve-” “Shut up!” Zagi said angrily. “You just really stink at what you d-” “I said shut up!” “I mean, seriously, even a Pigmen could do-” “SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Zagi said raising to his feet, his red lines starting to glow. “I have had an awful week. First my noodles don’t have any hotsauce, then my package gets lost, which by the way included an ultra-rare edition “Hatsune Miku Cat-Girl Edition” figure! Then everyone removes me from their friend list on Facebook. And now my computer breaks and no one even respects my demands!” Zagi exploded. The employee was still unfazed. “You know you potentially gave the police your home address?” He asked simply. Zagi’s eyes shrunk. “Oh my go-Wait, how could a simple IT employee be so smart?” Zagi asked. The employee stood up. “Well you see, I’m not any normal IT employee…” He said as clenched his fists. He struck a pose and his armor grew more developed and his black changed to blue. The transformation caused his vest to rip off. “Ultraman Nexus!” Zagi yelled in surprise. “That’s right , you have unwittingly not only brought me to your lair, but also gave me a pretty good Coke!” Nexus said pointing at Zagi in judgement. “Prepare to taste Coke powered vengeance!” Nexus dashed at Zagi and kicked him in the gut. This caused Zagi to fly through the wall and land in the street below. He just missed the passing by Zero and Mebius. “D’ah!” Mebius screamed, jumping into Zero’s arms. “Will you relax Twinkie, it’s just a-DARK ULTRA!” Zero, with Mebius in tow, quickly ran away. Nexus landed next to Zagi. He assumed a fighting stance. Zagi struggled up, and sprawled his arms out for battle. “Nexus, you have wronged me for the last time!” Zagi dashed and Nexus. Nexus stepped to the side and casually tripped him. “Oopse.” He said as he did it. Zagi landed flat on his face. He shot up. “Okay, now you have wronged me for the last time!” Zagi punched Nexus in the gut sending him sliding into a building. Nexus jumped out of the rubble, still ready for battle. “YOU FOOLS!” Zagi and Nexus turned to see Neos running over. “Do you know how much property damage you have caused?” He asked breathless due to running all the way over. Zagi and Nexus thought for a moment. “No.” They both admitted. “Over 1000 credits worth already! If this battle continues anymore it’ll increase stupendously!” Neos complained. “I’m Neos Nodamage’, and I’m from the UCDAP; the Ultra Collateral Damage Awareness Project. Ultras always cause so much property damage in their battles, so us at the UCDAP are responsible for cleaning up the mess. Straight from our pocket books are these damages paid for!” Neos explained. Nexus patted him on the shoulder. “Thanks for doing that then.” “NO! This isn’t suppose to be a noble deed, it’s suppose to encourage you to stop causing damage! I don’t want to pay for all this!” Neos complained. “Don’t you have any like… I dunno! Some overpowered shield technique?” He asked. Nexus thought a moment. “Well I can use G-Field to create a pocket dimension where we can fight.” Nexus said. “Why didn’t you bring this up before?” Neos snapped. Nexus shrugged and twiddled his fingers. “I sort of like blowing up buildings…” He said nervously. Zagi playfully punched him in the shoulder. “You and me both, right?” He said with a laugh. Nexus laughed in return. “Hey, you wanna go get something to eat? I’m starving.” Nexus invited. Zagi smiled. “Yeah, sure! I know this really good noodle place not to far from here, it’s just this way. You know, I don’t even remember what I was so upset about...” Nexus’ and Zagi’s voices quieted as the walked down the street. Neos looked at them, and then back at the damaged building. “What just happened?!” Next Time: You Know You Watch Too Much Anime When... Zero and Mebius rushed back into the apartment. They pressed themselves against the close door as they locked it, and then sunk down to the floor. “Phew…” Mebius breathed. “I think we lost it.” Zero said wiping his forehead. Zero got up, entered the living room and set up his new computer. Mebius joined him on the couch. “So Zero, I forgot to ask you, where’d you get the money for that?” Mebius asked. Zero sweatdropped and froze. “I uh, have my ways.” He said nervously. All the sudden they heard sirens. Zero grabbed Mebius, ducked under the window and held his hand over Mebius’ mouth. After the sirens left Zero untensed and Mebius struggled loose. “I’m gonna pretend that didn’t happen.” Mebius said. Zero nodded. “Yeah.” He said going back to his computer. “So, what are you gonna do first with it?” Mebius asked. “Catch up with some Anime, duh!” Zero said quickly typing a webaddress. Mebius’ interest was peaked. “Anime?!” “Graveyard yeah, Twinkie!” Zero laughed. “So, what are you thinking?!” Mebius asked excitedly sitting down next to Zero. “Well, I never got to finish Eureka Seven… so I’ll start with that.” 50 beautiful episodes later… “Oh my gosh..!” They both said, hugging each other in delight. “That was so beautiful!” Mebius squeed. “It was so manly!” Zero said. Mebius looked at him. Zero looked to the side. “Yeah, Leo might be rubbing off on me.” He said with a sheepish laugh. Mebius quickly started typing. “You know I hear it had a sequel show? Let’s watch that!” 24 okay episodes later “That… wasn’t that bad.” Mebius said, a little disappointed. “Not bad? Dude, it stunk like a Miclas stable!” Zero spat. “Well… what next?” Mebius asked. “I heard of this one anime called DogDays, let’s try that.” 12 episodes full of cats and dogs later “Well, that was… okay. But we really didn’t need all that fanservice.” Mebius said with a bit of annoyance. “Heyehhheyehh…” Zero chuckeld under his breath. Mebius shot a glance at him and he stopped. “It’s has another season… maybe we should give that a chance?” Not even done episode 1 “D’OH MY GAWSH!” Mebius said quickly turning off the video. “NOT COOL!” He said. Zero however just chuckled naughtily. “I heard that!” Mebius said. Zero meeped. “Well what now…?” Zero asked. Mebius thought a moment. “How bout this older one, it’s called Shakugan no Shana.” 3 seasons of Shakugan no Shana later Zero was hitting his head against the table. “What sort of ending was that?!” Mebius frowned in agreement. “Yeah, that wasn’t very smart. In fact it was kind of dumb.” Zero sprang back up. “Oh! I remember hearing this other anime called something like… Shmores Are Online…?” “Sword Arts Online!” 24 episodes later Mebius and Zero both looked at the screen with indifferent faces. “It has a second season.” Mebius offered. “Pass.” Zero replied quickly. “What else is there?” Mebius asked. Zero thought for a minute. “Well, now that I think about it… There’s this anime I’ve been meaning to watch. It’s called... “Attack on Titan…” Not even the first episode later Zero and Mebius were taking turns hurling in the trashcan. “Oh that is nasty!” Mebius yelled. “Who watches this stuff!” “I just ate something bad at lunch, it’s not the show!” Zero claimed right before he hurled. Mebius rinsed his mouth out with some water. He looked out the window. “You know, it’s getting sort of late. We should probably-” “Yep, your right.” Zero said nodding. All the sudden the room was filled with disco lights with Housemix music playing and Zero partying hard but Mebius was just staring at him. “Yeah yeah, bed, okay.” Zero said turning the music and lights off with the snap of his fingers. They both turned out the lights and headed to their rooms. Dream time! Zero sat in a command chair with a hat slightly blocking half of his face. “Captain! We are being attacked by alien Crimson Hazes!” One of the crew members announced. Zero spat. “Darn.” He said. “Or only hope to stop them is for you to pilot the Mobile Suit Gundam Lagann TYPEZero!” Zero stood up. “If that’s what it takes!” Zero announced as he left for the hangar. Upon arriving he was suited up and entered into the ridiculous looking mecha. “I will not stop until all Alien Crimson Hazes are erased from the universe!” Zero yelled as he launched out. In midspace he fought against a giant snake and were-bear. He sliced through them with his awesome laser sword, and all was totes fabulous. “Captain, incoming!” Someone yelled over the intercom. Zero turned and saw over the wreck of a ship… a Titan climbing over. “Seid ihr das Essen? Nein, wir sind der Jaeger!” Sang out of nowhere. Zero looked around. “What-the, wheredid that catchy tune come from?!” He asked. All the sudden the titan jumped at him, but it was stopped by another mecha. “Fear not Zero, for it is I! Mebius, piloting the Getter Robo Big Mazing TYPETheEnd!” Mebius’ annoying voice said over the intercom. Zero looked around in annoyance. “Wait, why are you in my dream?” He asked quietly. Mebius flew over and grabbed Zero by the shoulder and pointed him in a direction. “It is as I feared! It is the United Gelato-Biscoutti-Pastillage Army, and they have Secrets on their side!” He said pointing to the incoming army. “Save yourself and the crew Cap’n! I’ll do my best to fight ‘em off!” Mebius said as he prepared for battle. “And remember Zero! If you can’t believe in yourself, then believe in the me who believes in the you who believes in you!” He said emotionally. Zero was confused. “Wait, wha-” “Go now, there isn’t much time!” Mebius flew to the army and started fighting them off. “Please Cap’n! Save the crew!” He yelled again. All the sudden a giant Titan came out of nowhere and devoured the entire United Gelato-Biscoutti-Pastillage Army. “Oh darn,” Mebius said. “I guess I must resort to my… Seven Swell-ameha!” Mebius said releasing a rainbow kamehameha at the giant titan, completely obliterating it. Zero had enough of it. “Wait wait wait, is this my dream our your dream, Twinkie?!” Zero asked. All the sudden the entire area faded to black, and they were just themselves standing in blackness. Mebius rushed over and slung his arm around his shoulder. “It’s m’ dream!” He said. Zero pushed him aside. Zero flusteredly rubbed his fins. “Then what am I doing here?!” He asked in annoyance. “We share a strong emotional and mental link!” Mebius said. “No we don’t! I all but hate you, almost!” Zero said defiantly. “No one can stop the powers of love!” Mebius said moving his hand through the air making a rainbow appear. “Stop.” Zero said. All the sudden the sound of a record ripping boomed and everything went dark. Zero awoke in a cold sweat. “What was that dream..? I don’t even…” Zero said in confusion Category:HoshinoKaabi